The Last Warrior of Unigaea: A LitRPG Trilogy Page 12

  The Lucre Fingerbang? The Lira Smear-ra? I don’t even want to know what that last one is.

  I crack a grin at their conversation.

  Having been permalogged in Unigaea for quite some time, almost a year now, I can no longer distinguish NPC conversations and interactions from their counterparts in the real world, which is either a testament to the time and effort that has gone into the Proxima Galaxy or a testament to just how badly my mind has been warped by the place.

  Ten more minutes of trying to get a headcount and I’m awarded with a final voice, a high-pitched squawk that feels like someone stuck a knife in my ear. This voice continues for a moment, confirming that there are actually four people in the bandit’s hut.

  The waiting game continues.

  Someone will need to drain the lizard and when they do …

  Thirty minutes pass.

  Forty.

  Wolf yawns, his big tongue curling as he opens his jaw wide.

  “Don’t get sleepy yet,” I whisper to him.

  Fifty minutes.

  The men start singing a song about a vampiric mermaid who did more than suck blood. I haven’t heard this one before and as I listen, the door of the hut pops open and one of the bandits steps out.

  Go time.

  He sucks back snot, snorts it up, and hawks a loogie as he makes his way to the right, stopping when he meets the half-gorged body of a cow, which they’ve stolen and let rot, and which has attracted flies. The bandit pulls his pecker out and aims it at the cow’s decomposing skull.

  “Go around to the other side,” I whisper in Wolf’s ear. Staying as low to the ground as possible, Wolf circles around the back of the hut while I slowly begin to stalk the pissing man.

  Boy, is it a long piss.

  I swear this guy could fill a keg with the amount of water he’s passing. I wait for him to finish, put his proof of digital manhood back in the front of his trousers, turn away from me and ...

  I creep up behind him just as he’s about to reach the door, jump to my feet, place my hand over his mouth and wrap my arm across his chest.

  We fall backwards and I immediately get to jabbing at his neck with the boning knife, even as the wind is knocked out of me.

  -86 HP! -75 HP! -30 HP! -9 HP!

  I continue like this, stabbing frantically as he tries to buck me off. Meanwhile, his compadres are still mid-song, oblivious to our actions.

  Wolf comes around from the other side and gets into position beside the door, ready for someone to come out.

  Critical hit!

  I get the guy good and he chokes on air as the life exits his body. After I bring him down slowly, I check for weapons and find nothing, not even a piece of lint in his pockets.

  Fuck. I really would have liked to have a weapon other than a boning knife and a hammer.

  The men inside stop singing and start laughing. I glance up to the shut door. They’ll be looking for him at some point, but I may be able to pick another one off.

  As quietly as I can, I drag the body away and return to my position near the side of the door.

  A red outline appears on the three men inside, something I wasn’t granted when I was further off before. I could turn this handicap off, but it’s useful for now, especially due to the fact I’m practically weaponless.

  “Where’d he fucking run off to?” the man with the high-pitched voice calls out.

  “Fuck him!” shouts another. “He’s probably out there wanking it just to see what comes out.”

  They crack up at this; one of them beats his fist against a table.

  “I’m checking anyway.”

  Here we go.

  The man approaches the door, and as soon as he steps out, I come in behind him with a hammer to the back of the head.

  -76 HP!

  It should be way more damage than that, I think as he spills forward and I come down on top of him. I go in for another shot and put my full force behind it.

  -133 HP! Critical hit!

  By this point the bandits inside are scrambling for their weapons. One gets his crossbow pistol up; his shot flies past me as I dip back into the dark space next to the door. Shit! The damn torches at the front of the hut are giving me away, something I should have seen to from the beginning.

  I glance left. Wolf’s body is pressed to the ground, his hair slicked back and his focus on the entry point to the door.

  “I see him!” The man with the high voice fires another bolt out the open door. The man who’s been hammered twice is in bad shape, completely sprawled out like a starfish on the ground before the doorway.

  My heart racing, I go as low to the ground as possible and leave the hammered man to suffer. I’ve been pegged with too many goddamn arrows over the last few days to want to try for another.

  I bring out one of the pine-cone smoke bombs, light it using one of their blazing torches, narrowly miss another crossbow bolt, and roll it into the hut. Then I bring up another one and do the same.

  The two bandits left start coughing immediately as the thick smoke fills their lungs. The bandit that has been hammered starts to stir. I grab his feet, yank him towards me and crawl on top of him, keeping as low to the ground as possible. My boning knife comes out and I quickly slit his throat.

  Instakill!

  I roll away just as one of the bodies drops inside the hut. The other bandit bursts out, his big sword in hand, only to immediately be taken to the ground by Wolf.

  Wolf mauls him for a moment, gnashing sharp teeth at the man’s face as he struggles to get away. I zip over and Wolf moves just in time to let me finish the job with my boning knife.

  I ignore the instakill prompt and instead focus on the next thing that appears in my vision pane before it quickly disappears.

  Level up!

  “Yes!”

  Three more attribute points sound about right; I feel like it’s been ages since I assigned some. To think there was a time when I was shopping for jewelry to boost my skills. Juxtapose that with my current situation, weaponless and trying to gear up so I can drive the Tagvornins out of Tangka, all whilst the Red Plague slowly spreads towards the southern part of Unigaea.

  I guess that’s life in an online dreamworld.

  (^_^)

  As the smoke clears from the hut, I start checking the bandits for loot. The first bandit, the pisser, didn’t have anything on him and the second bandit, who met his fate by hammer and then boning knife, is also broke as a joke.

  The third bandit, who came running out only to be mauled by Wolf and gutted by Yours Truly, has a few interesting items on him, namely a thumb ring which I immediately put on.

  Rare item!

  [Willhammer’s Ring]

  Willhammer’s Ring matches your WILL attribute to your DEXTERITY attribute. Each new DEX point will give you a new point in WILL. Each new WILL point gives you a point in DEX.

  “Not bad at all!”

  Willhammer’s Ring has been fashioned into a serpent which wraps one and a half times around my thumb. It’s by no means obtrusive, and I eventually decide to put it on my right hand only because I’m a southpaw.

  I find a few more things on the guy, but these are mainly small pieces of paper he’s written notes on, as well as a few coins.

  I move to his weapon, a short sword.

  Weapon: Short Bandit Sword

  Grade: C

  Weight: medium

  Attack: +15

  I equip the sword, as any weapon is better than no weapon.

  Smoke is still clearing from the house, so I pull up my character sheet to get to assigning the attribute points and checking my new stats. I put one in WILL just to test the ring – it works – and I stuff the rest in MIND because boy am I lacking in that department.

  Oric Rune

  Class: Level 9 Player Killer

  Subclass: Level 3 Herbalist

  INFAMY: 45 Players killed

  HP: 1013/1013

  HP recovery rate: 2% per minute

&nbs
p; ATK: 139 +15

  DEF: 151

  Attributes

  STRENGTH: 10

  WILL: 10

  DEXTERITY: 10

  MIND: 6

  SPEED: 5

  I can’t say I feel myself get smarter, but as soon as I put the points in MIND, I do notice that my thoughts start feeling less like bullets plinking around in my head and more like floating butterflies.

  MIND is an attribute that is good to dump points in for anyone who wants to play in a governmental role. Helps for thieves too, which should tell you something. Also useful for mages, which should also tell you something. For a Player Killer, it’s not the most important attribute, but it may help in convincing townspeople that I’m not the big, bad wolf they think I am.

  He is. I nod to Wolf, who now sits panting as he watches the smoke fizzle out of the hut.

  We wait for a few minutes and finally, I enter the hut, find the man with the crossbow pistol and drag him out.

  Died from smoke inhalation, huh?

  I check his pulse again to be sure. I was unaware that my pine-cone smoke bombs could be so damaging.

  “Good to know,” I say as I go through his things. Nothing to report here, aside from a set of keys to the bandit’s hut.

  Could make a good place to call home, just in case shit really hits the fan.

  His crossbow pistol isn’t half bad either.

  Weapon: Bandit Crossbow Pistol

  Grade: D

  Weight: light

  Attack: +1

  Speed: +1

  I put the weapon in my list – you never know when one of these will come in handy – and I drag his body off to the side. Once I return to the hut, I quickly check the place for any additional items. I find two swords, both worse than the sword I currently possess. One is so bad it actually reduces my attack power.

  Weapon: Old Bandit Sword

  Grade: F

  Weight: medium

  Attack: -16

  I go through the drawers of the single dresser and find more lira, some handwritten notes, undergarments, and a bottle of Talonas Liqueur, a spirit exclusively sold in Rial Resort Town. After a swig to check for potency – Whew, that’s potent! – I add the alcohol to my list.

  Once I’m outside, I pull up my map and do a quick calculation. The bandit’s hut is a one-hour ride to Tangka, which is closer than I thought it would be. I take another look at the place and consider it for a moment.

  “What do you think, Wolf?”

  The big Tagvornin canine lies down, his head between his paws.

  “You’re sleepy?” I ask as I move another one of the bodies to the outer edge of the property. I go to get another and laugh as Wolf yawns again. “Our night is far from over, pal. We need to return to the fishermen before they set off.”

  He lets out a sigh of exasperation.

  “Shit, you’re right, they’ll want proof.” I consider this for a moment. “I think the sword and the crossbow pistol will do it. The ring too. I could take a head, but that seems like some work and … fine, fine.”

  I grab the last bandit and drag him away from the entrance. Once I’ve got him near the others, I stretch his fingers wide and bring the short sword down onto them. I return to their hut – now my hut – grab one of their socks and take it back out. The fingers go in the sock, I lock the hut, add the keys to my list, and turn to wolf.

  “Let’s get to the coast.”

  Quest update!

  You have completed the fishermen’s request and should now have safe passage to Stater Island. Sail to Stater Island, get supplies, and try to meet with Governor Talonas.

  Chapter Eighteen: Vampiric Mermaids and Where to Find Them

  I spot the two fishermen as soon as I get to the sand dunes that line the coast. There’s another glow to the west and I’ll be sure to stay clear of it. You never know what you’ll find if you follow the light, in Unigaea or the real world, and I’m already up to my neck in the quest of the century at the moment.

  Walrus Man laughs as I approach. “That fast, huh?” he chortles. “You get scared of the bandits or something?”

  I toss the sock filled with the fingers to his feet.

  He grabs the sock and empties the fingers onto the sand, then leaps. “Fuck! You’re a real sicko!” He laughs and Scar Cheek joins him.

  “You want more proof?” I brandish my sword. “I took this off one of them.”

  “We get it, we get it,” Walrus Man says with a wave of his hand. “Get off your damn dog and let’s celebrate.”

  I hop off Wolf and he immediately lies on the ground sideways.

  “He looks tired!”

  “It’s been a long day,” I tell Walrus Man as I approach. “A really long day.”

  “Want a drink?” Scar Cheek runs to the fire and pours some boiling liquid into a clay cup.

  He runs it over to me before I can protest. “What is it, exactly?” I ask. “It smells like a mixture of medicine, seaweed, and honey.”

  “Correct! Seaweed brandy,” Walrus says. “We made it ourselves.”

  I hesitate to take a sip.

  Walrus Man laughs again, his jowls flapping up and down. “Relax, like your dog just did.”

  “His name is Wolf.”

  “Like your wolf.”

  “No, that’s his name.”

  He shakes his head at my serious expression. “Have a drink and get some rest!”

  “I’d like to go now,” I tell Walrus Man, still wary of their brew.

  “Stater Island is completely shut down at night,” his companion explains. “Everybody knows that! And there ain’t no way we’re going out there at night.”

  “Let me guess, you’re scared of the vampiric mermaids of Hashmonean. Am I right?”

  “You ain't wrong!” Scar Cheek chortles.

  “We won’t even go near Hashmonean,” I remind the two. “They’ll be miles away from our path.”

  The grin on Walrus Man’s face turns to a cold, hard frown. “Nope. We aren’t leaving tonight. If you want to get to Stater, and you want us to take you, you’ll go in the morning. We’re not fucking with vampire mermaids. End of discussion. Now drink up.”

  I return to Wolf and sit. He lifts his head to greet me and I let him sniff the brew. I don’t know if he can smell poison or not, but I figure it can’t hurt. He shakes his head after one whiff, and I pour the stuff into the sand when Walrus Man isn’t looking.

  After scooting around so I can use Wolf’s back to prop up my head, I stare up at the dark, crimson sky. Stars barely twinkle, still fighting against the red, and as sleep comes over me I think of Ducat, my village, the place I built from the ground up.

  I mentally stand in my home now. I can sense activity in the streets outside my window, the people happily going about their lives, the merchants starting to open their stores, and the bakeries pulling fresh bread out of the oven.

  I inhale, savoring the smell of the freshly baked bread, my mouth watering as I imagine spreading local herb butter across a hot slice. I step out of my home, wave to the family that has just moved in across the street, grin at their children. Their daughters play-fight with swords, their son carves a picture in the dirt with a stick.

  I blink my heavy eyes open and I’m back on the coast of Unigaea, under a red sky, listening as two drunk fishermen try to talk over each other.

  I sleep.

  (^_^)

  “Wake up, Player Killer!” Walrus Man shouts.

  I stir and everything comes into focus.

  “We’ve got crabs!”

  I chuckle a little bit at the way this statement sounds. Once I’m on my feet, I stretch my arms over my head and yawn. Wolf stirs and immediately heads in the direction of the dunes to defecate.

  The two fishermen are huddled around a cage covered in seaweed. Walrus Man reaches a gloved hand inside and pulls out a black crab with a bright green line running down its shell. He tosses it into a deep pot and goes for the next one.

  Once they’
re all out, he lifts one side of the pot and Scar Cheek lifts the other. They take the pot to the boiling water and admire their handiwork.

  “Those fuckboy bandits didn’t think to ever check our crab traps!” Walrus snorts. “Breakfast is going to be quite the feast!” He puts his fingers in his mouth and whistles for Wolf. Surprisingly, the Tagvornin beast comes to him.

  “I’ve never seen him come to another person.”

  “He came because I’m going to feed him,” the man says. “Men and dogs are more alike than you think – get a little food, whistle, and one will surely pop up.”

  He walks over to his knapsack and takes some jerky out. “I’ve been holding out on this stuff,” he tells Wolf, “saving it for a rainy day.”

  I look up at the sky. Aside from the red color, all is clear.

  “Where did you get the jerky?” I ask out of curiosity.

  He raises an eyebrow at me. “You really want to know?”

  I nod.

  He glances to Scar Cheek, who gives him a short nod. “We found it in a shed outside of Tangka. The door had already been beaten in by some asshole.”

  “Found?” I ask. “Is that what they’re calling it these days?”

  He shrugs me off. “What, you think you’re the only one that knows how to loot?”

  We eat the boiled crabs and Wolf eats his jerky. Once our bellies are full and the boat is packed up, I drop in front of Wolf and remind him to chill out once we hit the water.

  “Don’t show these two fishermen just how much of a pussycat you are,” I say under my breath. He whines, scuttles backwards, and practically runs for the dunes once I bring him near the boat.

  Walrus Man laughs his ass off. “That big wolf is scared to get wet! Ha! I swear I see something new every week.”

  I think back to the sea dragon we fended off. Hell, I’d be scared of the water too if I didn’t know how to swim.

  “I’ll leave you here,” I half-jokingly tell the big canine. “What’ll it be?”

  He reluctantly gets in the boat and Scar Cheek starts chuckling. “Never in my life have I seen a dog so scared of water! Ha!”

  “Just don’t tease him,” I say as Walrus pushes off from the shore and starts rowing south.